Stories of Personal Growth

 

Cowboys and Culture

I’ve lived a Big life.  Or so I thought.  I’ve traveled, had the brass ring, shared with lots of people, come to know my self and my spiritual purpose (which by the way has to do with ‘no more Judging’).  And after all these adventures, I've since learned that living in the full expression of this moment, with no fears, is truly living a Big life.

I live in a wonderful city.  As the city fathers put it, it’s a place with the perfect balance of “Cowboys and Culture”.  I love that.  And it is exactly my world.  Common sense, straight forward adventure, balanced with amazing richness and art and music and nature.

Mornings with angels, being of service and constantly learning, regrouping the intricacies of energy, laughing and goofing around with my little girl.  Playing a little music, drinking some ice cold green tea, looking out my window.

Life is not about proving or competing.  It’s about the sincerity to truly find the answers within, and then the wondrous process of sharing on this planet.  What a great, interesting place this is.  And no, I don’t read the front page of newspapers.  If it’s important, it will make the Sports page.

To your Health and Happiness!!

 

I LOVE Opportunity!!

I just had the most wonderful time cleaning my floors, moving energy!  There was a time when I did not know what this meant.  I wandered through the world not knowing that right at my finger tips is a world of fulfillment and opportunity.  It didn’t matter how much money, how much love, how much ‘anything’ was around me – I did not know where ‘I’ came from, and how good it feels to give and be involved.

I found this out from being on staff at a camp along time ago.  The first time at this camp I couldn’t believe all these people were singing and laughing, as they washed dishes!?!  I still remember the time when all this clicked for me.  It was completely set up by Spirit.  I was cleaning toilets and bitching about what the H am I doing, a spiritual searcher doing here cleaning toilet.  After about the 5^th toilet something changed.  I got into the groove of ‘doing’ (something I had very little of, with a childhood based on TV and Captain Crunch).

There was nothing but ‘me’ and the ‘porcelain’.  And I cleaned it with joy and a passion.  Now, I’m not saying I go around cleaning toilets, but I was Free from that moment on.  I knew that no matter what I did, I could feel the fulfillment of Service and being involved.  To this day, whether it’s in a board room, traveling, or cleaning my floor, it’s the same.  It’s my vibration in the flow of energy of planet earth…a physical planet, with physical opportunity…that transcends into Spirit!!

 

Sophi's World - Love and Let Love

I have a very unorthodox family situation.  I have a beautiful little girl named Sophia.  And I have an ex-wife that is a dear friend.   Along the way of being married we found that we stimulate the exact buttons of our early training.  So much so, that we couldn’t live in the same house. 

However, what has come about is that we visit constantly.  We have our own independence and detachment, and as a result the learning lessons we have, can be amazing reflections of each other, rather than in your face changes for survival.   I am constantly in Sophia’s life, and Waleska and I coordinate on doing things together, including growing spiritually.

It’s no accident that the life lessons we have are so similar.  One recent experience had both of us independently bumping our heads against a wall, in different situations, but when we compared experiences a light was lit for each person.  A pattern that was repeated over and over became apparent and insight was gained to heal it, without even changing the outside situation.  I have a feeling that will change too, but naturally from a lesson learned.  Not from bailing on the uncomfortableness and thinking another situation will be better. 

The lesson is that there is a reason for every experience.  And if I don’t like it, I better understand why I created it.  Or I’m destined to repeat it.  Not all of life is bumps and bruises, but once in a while there’s a doosy!

Sophia is so amazing.  She just floats along loving everything and everyone.  And come to think of it her love is what has held us together long enough to have a constructive relationship, rather than ending it all together.  I guess that makes sense.  Her life message is “I embrace my life, with love” .  If she hadn’t embraced us with her presence, this would never have happened.

One last thing, this gets me to thinking about the wonder of detachment and independence in a family.  Francisco always said the best thing we can do with our loved ones, is Live and Let Live.  Or in the case of Sophi’s world, Love and Let Love…

 

The Incredible Gift

Dennis Smith received a gift he never expected.  While traveling on business, he began playing piano in hotel lobby's.  He always wanted to play, but never took the time for lessons.  Now it was just coming out of him. "The message of my soul entered a space where there were no thoughts, only the sound and feelings of Spirit and Music."

People started coming around and sitting down to listen.  He didn't tell them he didn't know how to play, but when he would finish, he  found others felt the same things he was feeling.  Whether it was a worker who came out of the kitchen and had a tear in her eye when she told him 'You have no idea how much I needed this today.' 

Or two women who sat on a couch while he played waiting for a ferry.  One shared she saw angels and a blue light as the music filled the room.

This was fine as long as it stayed as a sort of personal therapy and hobby.  Then one day someone heard it and wanted to record it.  Within two weeks a complete album was recorded called Soul Navigation, a production company was started and promotion was begun.  There was only one problem.  The songs that came out on that album, half of them first takes, he could not play again.  When he listened back over the tape, he technically could not play what he was hearing.  It wasn't any masterpiece technically, but the inspiration that took him away, was a place that he had no bridge to return to.  Especially on command.

Dennis' spiritual travels took him elsewhere over the next few years as he became more at peace with the gift he was given and refined his playing to fully express what was within.  He found there was a message that needed to be shared, and it had to do with his purpose of 'following the feelings the first time' in life.

"The message is to Give In...  We all have a place of peace and understanding inside.  We were born with it, and it's still there.  Trusting those beautiful subtle messages is the key to finding it again."

The Miracle of Letting Go

by Waleska Velez

I believe that sometimes we receive what we pray for, not only because we asked for it, but because we leave all the tiny details of the "how" to Spirit.  Sometimes when I pray I want to "help" my angels and God so much that I start giving them directions and details about how I think would be the best way for getting what I asked for.

So, they end up giving me EXACTLY what I asked for...up to the last detail.  And most of the time it is not what I really need or what is best for me.  I have to remember that Spirit knows what's best for me and whenever I'm in need of help all I have to do is ask and TRUST that my prayer will be answered accordingly to what is best for my soul and Big Picture...

'A German woman, a survivor of Hitler's holocaust, was offered the opportunity to care for two small children, also refugees from the 'death camps'.  She agonized over her decision, and what it would mean.  She would have to face the painful memories of losing her own family, especially her sister and her sister's two children. She didn't know what to do.  Finally she prayed a simple prayer, "I want to come alive again!"  

The next day she decided to accept the children.  As they walked in, she thought they looked familiar.  As she bent down to say hello, she suddenly realized...the little boy and little girl, were her sister's children!...

Tell It Like It Is
Reprint: a tribute to Ruthmary Mcdowell

Ruthmary Mcdowell is a 94 year old ex Hindu nun.  She was born in Alaska during the Gold rush, 'where they had to dig tunnels in the snow to get anywhere'.  She was raised in a convent and eventually traveled the world sharing her simple message, 'Tell it like it is'.

And she has a lot to tell.  On the subject of 911, 'At first, when I saw it on television, I thought it was a movie. You know Orson Wells once did that radio show that got everyone worked up. What's happening is history is repeating itself.  As long as people stay positive, we�ll get past it and grow.'

On the subject of growing old, 'Most older people, when things happen, they either feel sorry for themselves or get active.  As long as I�m here I�d rather wear out, than rust out.  We need to teach people how not to get old, and not just dry up and not do anything.'

On loving, 'Look at babies.  At first they love everything.  Pretty soon they start quarrelling because that�s part of maturity � realizing there are other people and their perspectives.  That�s what the world is going through right now, a process of maturing.'

On sharing, 'If people ask you questions, answer them.  If they disagree then that�s there freedom.  Just give them a little bit, then if there interested, a little more.  If they come back a third time, you know they�re really interested.'

On being fulfilled, 'Life is really about feelings.  It's learning to receive our wonderful self, and then give of our self to others.  I�m learning to love myself more deeply, more completely, everyday.

As I'm watching Ruthmary sit and bounce on her cellulizer (a mini trampoline with handle bars) I can�t help but think...How great it�s going to be to get old!  To just be, and to tell it like it is...

Ruthmary McDowell made her transition peacefully the morning of January 29th, 2003

Beyond the Comfort Zone
by Liz Kenyon

My goal for this year was to have an adventure.  Next thing I know, I'm boarding a plane for France where I've rented an apartment in a tiny village in Provence for 2 weeks.  I was traveling with friends so; it wasn't entirely foreign to me.  But the last 3 days in Provence I was totally alone in the village and I was not as relaxed as I'd like to  be.  In fact I was a little intimidated by the language barrier and I was afraid I would get lost being so far from home.

As I was suffering, I noticed in the bookshelf, a book about living with fear.  The author spoke to me.  She told me that it was OK that I was afraid because I was in a very new environment and was out of my comfort zone so not to judge myself.  Then she talked to me about risking and the rest of the chapter contained testimonials from people who took risks.  I didn't need to read on.  I got sincere with myself and asked my feelings for a direction.

So I decided to join the village men who were playing their traditional game of bacci ball.  I didn't want to play, but I did want to take pictures of them for my paintings.  As I was sitting on the bench one of the players courageously started a conversation of very broken English with me.

No one else would try but him.  He could sense my needs and I was able to get a ton of pictures of the players - it was fun!  I learned their names and arranged to send them prints of the finished painting.  They invited me back next summer.  But the best thing that happened is that the Frenchman and I have been e-mailing ever since.

Now, this is not a love story yet, but it still feels like an adventure.  From that one little goal, I was led to hear a message about living my life with new horizons

 

Stories of Inspired Service

Timing
by Liz Kenyon

I am an artist. I had an art opening scheduled at a church and it was unclear whether I should hold the opening reception after the first service or the second. I asked the person in charge of the art shows and she said 'oh, we always have the reception after the second service".

OK, I heard her, but that morning my instincts told me to get up extra early and get my refreshments over there for the first service.

So I pulled up and set up my table just in time for the first service to get out and there were around 50 people filing out; I sold three paintings on the spot. Then it began to rain and only five people showed up for the second service.

No one questioned how I knew to show up early and that it would rain but I had insider information in this case!

 

I Give My All

A profile of Julie Justice

Julie Justice is about as Texan as you can get.  Before she left high school she owned her first house, and before she left college she owned her first company.  She has gone on to start and sell four companies.  She recently sat down to share a few stories...

"I was tested one morning.  At the time I was president of a subsidiary business owned by a very large company.  I woke up to receive a very clear message to move a significant amount of the companies� money from the bank�NOW.  At the time I wasn�t even sure if I had the authority to do it. 

The message was very clear.  So I did it.

Later the same day I was called to the office of the CEO of the larger company.  As I stood there, waiting to get fired, he told me that he was sorry to say that the bank where all the companies funds were, had declared insolvency and they were only going to be able to recoup a fraction of their money.

I told him, no we didn�t and that I moved the money that morning.

You can imagine his surprise.  That morning a lot of leaders, including VP�s of finance, sales, and operations were called into that office to hear what a little intuition can do."

One other favorite story was the time she was on a business trip and stopped at a truck stop.  One of the trucks blocked her in and she couldn't get out, so she made a general announcement in the restaurant that who ever owned the truck, if they could please move it.

All the truckers seemed to enjoy this gal in a power suit.  The owner of the truck told her, "If you want to missy, you can move it yourself." 

So, she said OK, and went out and moved it.  

 

The Dream Job
A profile of Sandi Warrington  

Is a Dream job one in which a person has a high position and lots of money?  Or is it a job where there is an opportunity to be part of something great?  Well�lots of money would be nice!  But there are other things that make a job a dream job. 

In San Antonio, Texas there is a group of people that have come together to create a team and a great service that is setting records in their industry.  I sat down to interview the leader of this team, Sandi Warrington, and ask her how she has found so much success, and such loyalty in her team.

The Budget Suites of America is a unique hotel concept that actually acts as an extended stay for its guests and was first created in Las Vegas, NV.  It has since expanded to Arizona and Texas.  The first property in San Antonio has set records for occupancy in the first few months of operations and is continuing to grow and expand.  Sandi, the general manager, went from a background of being a hairdresser, to being hired by BSA, to becoming Manager of the Year.

Q - How did you go from being a hairdresser to being manager of the year in an industry that you had no experience?

A - You don�t know what you can do, until you do it.  It�s a little different for me because I had no professional, no book training.  I simply followed the system that was created before me with some good solid common sense, what I call �Iowa� sense.  I learned that I�m a great organizer.  I can go into mass chaos and just watch for 30 minutes to an hour, and I can see where the problems are.

Q - What is that Iowa sense?  It seems one of the keys to your success is you first establish a standard or goal, and then you go into following a clear system to success.

I�ve always worked with people and I�ve had three kids, and I�ve always found that from the beginning if you let them know these are my boundaries, if you step out then this is what will happen, if you stay in then you�ll be rewarded.  Just apply that simple philosophy to everything.  If someone gets into trouble then we talk about where they stepped out, and ask them what they are going to do about it.

My son was brought to the door one night by the police; he had driven home from a party a couple blocks away and had been drinking.  We talked about it and I told him that I didn�t do it, and wasn�t going to take the blame for it.  Several years ago, my son said to me, �I think about that night, standing on the porch, whenever I think about doing something that I know isn�t right.�  So those are the principles.  I think if everyone knows the rules, and you�re strong enough to enforce them, then everything is fair and people know what their part.

Q - How do you think that helps people?  You have a very loyal team of people.  What is it that makes them want this, appreciate this?

An employee came to me the other day and shared something that might explain this.  He said that my success wasn�t just following the system but that it was important that I stay true to how I say things will be.  There is a trust.  If your right I will stick up for you, I�ll back you.  If you�re in the wrong, I�ll address it and we�ll fix it.

I expect this level of trust.  We tell each other the truth, no matter what the situation.  When people know they can tell you the truth, there is a trust that is built.  It�s so nice to be somewhere and not always worry where things are.  They can trust me and they can trust the system, so they can relax and do things not because I ask them, but because they are part of team.

Q - How does communicating fit with keeping such high standards?

It�s crucial.  We need to address how people are feeling and talk to the right person about what their concern is.  If they don�t its just idle chatter, rumors, complaining.  There is an open door policy.  Even though we�re all one team with one goal, we all have another world out there.  I can�t control the outer, but when things happen outside we need to talk about it and find a way to keep the office environment in balance.  One of my favorite phrases is �You never say No��  Even if you know the answer is no, put them on hold, twiddle your fingers for a minute and go back and tell them you will see what you can do.  Just trying to help people makes them feel good.

Q - How do you maintain this patience?

Well,  every morning I say a little prayer.  I ask �give me the patience to do whatever it takes that day, to say the right thing, to do the right thing.�  And that�s what I follow through with.  You can�t get anything done if everything around you is going crazy.  Patience is what keeps me in my center, which then creates it outside.  Whatever the priority is, then just do it!  If it�s cleaning rooms, backing up the front desk, or doing my manager duties.

That�s why I feel it�s so important that people take an hour lunch break, to get away.  Part of my job is to help my people remain centered.

Q - It seems one of your strengths is to help people realize that its much more peaceful to just follow the system and move through it.

Exactly.  This business is going on 27 years and this system is not something that came out of book.  Its come from the school of hard knocks.  I am the system.  I grew up in this system and when something didn�t work I went right back to this simple system.

Q - What is it that is maybe natural for you, but others seem to fight following this system?

Because there are a lot of checks and balances.  And people LIKE short cuts.  Most people, they are there mentally for most of the day, and they don�t even realize it, but they start to leave near the end.  By following the flow of the system it helps them maintain that level of consistency and do it right.  If they buy into the system and learn it until it becomes second nature, then they can maintain their center no matter what�s going on.

Q - And that goes right back into the Patient thing.  The system is really a tool.  To stay in that centered feeling.

Exactly. 

Q - What are some of the special moments when you know that everything is working and part of the big scheme of things? 

I think my favorite time is in the morning, when the housekeepers come in and we go over what we�re going, and I know that I don�t have to go out to follow them around.  They take their initiative and know what their part of the team is.

At the front desk when I have a trainee and I see them all of sudden figure things out.  I see them standing there, not sure what to do and they are thinking about the process, and then the figure it out and move forward with that confidence.

Those are my reward times, when I know they got it.  When I left Las Vegas and I called the manager that came after me, and I told him �Well, you did it.  You filled my shoes.� They got a higher level rating than they had ever been, they got a bonus and I said to him �You.ve done the best thing you could have ever done.  You�ve continued on.�  It is knowing that who I am continues on and helps others, even if I�m not there. 

Q - What are some of your challenges now?

I can�t change people�s attitudes or their inner motivation.  I�m lucky because most of my staff has this.  My challenge is keeping good people in the right spots. 

Q - How do you stay true to this?  You have such high standards, and sometimes you need to tell good people something they may not want to hear.  It�s not a convenient thing to do sometimes.

This is the hardest part of my job.  Its not hurting me, its making it inconvenient.  But for others it may be a disaster or may seem like it for them.  Sometimes they may not see the bigger picture that a change of opportunity is not always a bad thing.  There was a gal in a business I worked before that I knew she was in the wrong opportunity, but she didn�t see it.  But I had to do what I had to do.   Three weeks later, and I�ve never had anybody do this, but she thanked me for firing her!  The perfect opportunity that we talked about being right for her opened up.

Q - It seems to me you create these special moments with patience?

Every moment I�m tested to see if this is really how I am and the standards for how I want things to be.  Then, it starts to turn around, people start reaffirming the way you want it to be.  The come up and say  �I Love it here, and this property is so nice.� 

There is something inside me that cannot let things go without keeping this standard, I don�t want to let people down.  They can trust the way things are.  Then the reverse happens, others work hard for me, because they don�t want to let me down either.

There are some pretty tough places to work, where people don�t help each other, and they don�t like where they work.

The people that are here give to me because they want to�and that�s a blessing!

Gonzolo's Spirit
A profile of Gonzolo Martinez

Gonzolo Martinez is a housekeeper at a hotel. He has two small children in Mexico, he hasn't seen in a very long time. Yet, every day I see him, he shares a big smile as he hustles about. I've never seen anyone with such a passion for what he does. One morning, as I lay half awake in my hotel bed, I heard someone cleaning in the next room. After a while, I came to the conclusion that either this person was crazy, or really cared about what they were doing.

It was Gonzolo. As I stepped out of my room later, he was polishing the number on the door. Without even speaking I knew I wanted to interview him. What was it like leaving your world, your family, your language to clean rooms for a living!?

Gonzolo was born in Morales, Mexico. He went to school through 7th grade, when he had to start working. His father later died, and he became the breadwinner for the family. He told me, "Life was very hard. There weren�t opportunities. We couldn't even pay our rent." He gradually worked his way through California, washing horses for a living, before getting hired as a housekeeper.

I wanted to know with his situation how he kept such a positive attitude. I think he and I shared a little something. About ten years prior, during a Christmas blizzard, I had been stranded without money at a Hotel. In exchange for lodging I cleaned toilets. After about 9 or 10 (I lost track) I had an experience that would change me for the rest of my life. I stopped complaining internally. It was just me and that porcelain, and I was cleaning it with a Passion and Purpose. There is something incredible fulfilling about Service, in any form. And it is not so much 'what' is done, but 'how' it is done, that makes all the difference.

This is the passion that Gonzolo has. "Esperanza, that is why I do things the way I do them," he told me. " I do it because it is the right way." Gonzolo is now learning English and has at least some of his family with him. I asked him what his dream was and he told me "I used to want to be a Doctor, but now I want to go back to Mexico and start my own taxi business."  A passion and a purpose is hard to beat!

 

Stories of Expression

The Silent Pain

Millions of women experience excruciating pain every month and no one speaks about it.  It is more than menstruation.  It is a disease called Endometriosis and would knock �anyone� to their knees in pain.  Due to a lack of awareness these women for the most part are suffering in silence.   It is estimated that 1 in 10 women have endometriosis, and are often conditioned to think having �this� much pain is normal, with little support from those around them.  Because of this they may not even be able to do normal functions, including holding a regular job.

FACTS

Endometriosis is a very painful condition where endometrium (the lining of the uterus) is found in locations outside the uterus. This misplaced tissue develops into growths or lesions which respond to the menstrual cycle in the same way that the tissue of the uterine lining does: each month the tissue builds up, breaks down, and sheds. Menstrual blood flows from the uterus and out of the body, but the blood and tissue shed from endometrial growths has no way of leaving the body. This internal bleeding results in incredible pain.

WALESKA�S STORY

�I was diagnosed with endometriosis on November 1998. But before I knew what I had I suffered for a year with the most horrific pelvic pains anyone can imagine. Even after finding out what I had, I still had to endure the incomprehension of those unfamiliar with the disease. Co-workers and friends knew about my medical history and my battle with ovarian cysts and painful periods since I was 12, and thought that I was just overreacting.

�It�s just a cramp� �Don�t be such a baby� �You�re just using your period as an excuse not to go to work (or  school)� But these weren�t just menstrual cramps. Usually the pain knocked me down. I was unable to get out of bed (the lucky times I was in bed). Other times I would crawl into a ball on the floor unable to move. The bleeding was so profuse that some days I thought I was having a hemorrhage.  Prescription pain medication didn�t seem to have an effect on me, and seeing the frustration and impotence in the faces of my family every time I crawled into a ball because of the pain was too much for me. I seriously considered suicide.

Shortly after I was diagnosed a friend of the family suggested I look at integrated therapies as well. I did and my life changed. I was able to integrate more natural ways of dealing with the pain with western treatments. My life started to improve and I was able to enjoy it again.  This included a support group that was a huge success. Experts in the gynecology field were brought in to talk to us about the disease and the latest research developments. Also psychologists, massage therapist, naturopaths and everyone who could offer ways to deal with the physical and emotional pain were brought in. The result was healing� in all its forms. 

SOLUTIONS

Traditional medicine is doing its best to fully acknowledge and understand Endometriosis.  The best approach so far has been one that includes traditional methods as well as alternative. One thing crucial is the support of partners. Men in these relationships often feel helpless!  All they know is that the one they love is in incredible pain, and they can do nothing about it.

Through a combination of reflexology, medicinal teas, and healing, along with traditional therapies, are now finding profound results.  Support groups have also become an invaluable tool to support women with this condition.